If you have herpes, you may think that your love life is over. Fortunately, you do not have to give up on dating just because of your condition. What you do have to do, however, is tell your partner about your herpes status as soon as possible.
While starting this conversation can be difficult, it is best to avoid beginning the discussion with phrases such as “We need to talk” or “I have something very serious to tell you.” This can set the wrong tone for the rest of the conversation as your partner may expect an argument instead of what you are actually about to tell them. Choosing the right time and words to tell your partner can give you the best chances of overcoming this problem together.
The best advice anybody can give you on how to tell someone you have herpes is to imagine how you would like your partner to give you the exact same news. Would you like them to make it sound like it was a big problem? Would you like them to start with “I have some terrible news”? No, of course not. The point is, if you perceive this as terrible news, you’ll make your partner see it that way as well. You should try your best to sound casual, indirect, and unemotional without coming off as impolite.
Additionally, you shouldn’t give it too much of a preamble. Keep the intro as short as possible and get straight to the point. Never assume how your partner will respond, just give them the news. If they care for you, they will work with you to overcome this problem. In other words, your partner is more likely to panic if you tiptoe around the issue.
If you stop to think about it, telling your partner you have herpes is just as simple as saying “Hey, I just ran some tests and it appears I have a virus that causes herpes.” It’s simple, effective, and leaves no room for panic. It’s also important that you familiarize yourself with this STD before you break the news to your partner. Knowing all there is about herpes and sharing your knowledge with them will definitely help you in this situation because herpes sounds much scarier than it actually is. This will also help your partner understand your condition better and realize it’s not the end of the world.
Lastly, choosing the right setting is also essential if you want to maximize your chances for a positive outcome. For instance, don’t start this conversation while they’re at work or interrupt them while they’re doing something important. An honest talk over a romantic dinner or during a walk in the park will definitely prevent your herpes news from turning into a bombshell.
In the end, you also have to accept the fact that your partner might react badly no matter how you choose to deliver the news. However, if your relationship is valuable to both of you, your partner will be ready to face anything just to keep you by their side.